My son just went back to school after being on holiday break for two weeks. As much as I loved spending extra time with him, I was a bit relieved when it was time for him to go back. The never-ending energy, the tantrums, the "I want a snack" every five minutes- it was all starting to drive me crazy. Now that he's back in school, I'm somewhat more sane. Even though I still have a little one at home full-time, it means less stress. Half as much to worry about, and a little more peace and quiet.
But it got me thinking...what is it about motherhood that makes us act like we have multiple personalities? That we can love spending time with our children, but also be glad when we have time to ourselves?
It's like this weird paradox we live everyday; we love our children (and the time we get to spend with them) immeasurably, but we also relish child-free "mama time." I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel like I'm living life as "Dr. Jekyll & Mama Hyde." As soon as I get the opportunity to have time to myself, I do a happy dance. But after a few steps, I start to miss my children. When I can finally sit down and relax, or peruse Pinterest, or paint my nails, I have this mama guilt come over me. I know it's important to take care of myself, but at the same time, taking care of my babies is what brings me the most sense of purpose.
I suppose it's all part of our genetic makeup; we were created to be nurturers and protectors, but we can't be those things well if we aren't well ourselves. Someday, hopefully I'll figure out a way to find more of a balance. For now, I'm just a confused mama trying to make my way through each stressful (yet joyful) day.
How do you feel, mamas?
Can you relate to this "Dr. Jekyll & Mama Hyde" stuff?
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